Making Movies

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

So It Begins At An Ending


My summer ended on a very sad note, my mother who had been in the hospital since July, passed away September 23, 2008. I was devastated and I still am. She had the best sense of humor. When I would share one of those stupid internet jokes with her, she would give me a big hard laugh that was music to my ears. Even in my adulthood she encouraged me. I have to say that I probably took it for granted, that she would always be there. Children often think their parents are invincible, especially mothers. I no different thought she would prove the doctors wrong and be the medical miracle they never expected. Miracles came, but in unexpected forms. Family, friends, medical staff, strangers, all reached out to pray with me, hug me and support me. It was extraordinary.

I now inherit the Williamsburg apartment and the clean up begins. It's not new to me I grew up here and really never left because I was here every day to care for her in her later years. However, like many elders there are papers, figurines, collections, and stuff that I will sort through. I don't know where to begin or how. This process is also a sad one. I do need to create my own style but I worry about stripping my mom completely away. Then there are things like a silly rabbit ears headband that I couldn't bring myself to throw out.
I am stressed, sad, and I don't want to get out of control. This blog is my therapy. Of course I have been told "get professional help" and I am not apposed to it, but this is where my healing begins.

Moving In, Redecorating, And Finding Myself will also include guest decorating dilemma's, expert advice and the nitty gritty of getting it done.
Right now I must continue shredding......UGH.

2 comments:

Lisa Michelle Event Planner said...

Hey Cassandra,

My prayers are with you now and always for strength and encouragement. As well as seeing the light at the end of the tunnel through this process. I think this is an awesome forum to sort and shed your grief as you tread through many decades of memories and in essence a legacy. Stay strong, be encouraged, and most of all lean on your support during this time and in your need.

Love, Lisa

rozi said...

There is change and transformation at this time of your life, Cassandy. Your mother's passing was a major one. The process of cleansing and de-cluttering, creating a new environment that reflects who you are in the world would be so who your mother raised and understood you to be. You being you will find humor, originality, creativity, joy and yes, sadness in this cathartic process. M.Eleaine will never be forgotten.
Roz.

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